Of Bumbling Fools and Awkward Nights
by PowerSchlumpfi
Summary: At the end of the day real life just wasn't like the movies, and it wasn't like fancy novels loved to describe it. In which Merlin is clumsy, Arthur farts, and their first night together just isn't quite like either of them expected.


**This story is based on a post on Tumblr, listing things about cuddling that fanfics often fail to mention.**

 **I got inspired and tried my best to include all points listed.**

 **Probably also notable that I got inspired in the middle of the night and finished the whole thing in one sitting. Well, in one lying, really, because I was actually in bed already when I started writing.**

 **Huge thanks and lots of hugs to paalme for beta-ing.**

* * *

Arthur had kissed him.

Kissed. Him.

 _What?_

Merlin touched his lips with his fingertips, his eyes still fixed on Arthur, who was just standing there, grinning that smug, slightly crooked grin of his and Merlin's heart fluttered in his chest, his stomach tingling with something that felt very much like butterflies.

"Stay." Arthur said softly, and that was all Merlin needed to hear.

He stayed. Even though it was crazy, even though they'd been friends for ages and this was so different from everything they'd ever done before.

But Arthur had kissed him and somehow it felt right, like it was something they should've done years ago.

Arthur took Merlin's hand in his and tugged him down onto the bed with him.

It was too early for more than kissing – and too weird. Only ten minutes ago they'd just been friends like they'd been for the past eight years. There was no need to rush into something Merlin knew they both couldn't handle yet.

But _this_ , this was nice. Kissing Arthur deeply and languidly; licking over his lips and exploring that familiar mouth, nipping at the skin just beneath his earlobe and running his hands over his muscular torso and bury them in his thick blond hair.

And when he touched his lips softly back to Arthurs, their eyes met and they both started giggling, because it was all so ridiculously, so _surprisingly_ good.

"Arthur!" Merlin said breathlessly and slapped Arthur's upper arm, before burying his face in the crook of Arthur's neck. "This is crazy, isn't it?"

"Maybe. But if it is, I sure love being crazy." Arthur said, still chuckling softly.

Merlin came up again to grin broadly at him.

"Me too."

"Good." Arthur said and pulled Merlin back down to kiss him deeply, trying his best to make up for lost time and denied feelings.

Merlin lost track of time. He didn't know anymore how much time they'd spent making out on Arthur's bed, but he didn't really care either way. It was only when he felt his limbs growing tired and their kisses slower that he pulled away from Arthur's lips and used his shoulder as a pillow instead, cuddling close to his side with one arm wrapped around his waist.

"This is nice." Merlin said after a while. He was tired and comfortable, but still too giddy to fall asleep. Cuddling with Arthur was just as new and exciting as kissing him was and Merlin couldn't help pressing even closer and greedily breathing in Arthur's familiar scent.

"It kind of is, yeah." Arthur admitted and Merlin smiled against his neck.

He'd never taken Arthur for a cuddler. Then again, he'd also taken him for a straight person, so Merlin wasn't sure how good his judgment had ever been when it came to Arthur. The man seemed to be full of surprises, even after eight years.

"Mhmmm, Arthur?" Merlin murmured against his skin after another while.

"Hmm?"

"Let's never stop doing this, yeah?"

Arthur responded by pulling Merlin impossibly closer, his arms wrapped tightly around him. It was warm and cozy and Merlin really never wanted the night to end.

They both dozed off after a few minutes, but didn't fall into a deep slumber.

Merlin was just enjoying the closeness and warmth, his mind wandering happy places, while he was still mostly conscious.

After another few minutes passed, though, their tight embrace grew inevitably more uncomfortable and Merlin was shifting against Arthur, trying to find his warm, happy bubble again.

But it was no use. He heard Arthur grumble and knew he wasn't suffering alone; but at the same time, neither of them seemed to be ready to let go just yet.

"Ugh. Merlin!" Arthur moaned just before Merlin could decide to just screw it and scramble out of Arthur's embrace. "You need to move. My arm is falling asleep."

Merlin sighed in relief and moved his body on top of Arthur's, freeing his arm.

The peace only lasted for a few moments, though.

"Merlin! Gods, I can't breathe! You're heavier than you look, you know?"

Merlin shifted again, scrambling clumsily to find a better position. Unfortunately, he didn't realize where his knee went until it hit something soft.

"FUCK!" Arthur cursed loudly. " _MER_ LIN! Yes, just jam your knee right up my crotch. This is _fine_ , you clumsy fool."

Merlin groaned in frustration and buried his face at Arthur's chest. He was just glad Arthur couldn't see his flushed cheeks. He'd been so determined not to mess this up; and now here he was, with Arthur still cursing under his breath.

"I'm so sorry. I didn't—" He started.

Arthur sighed. "I know you didn't. You're a clumsy idiot, is all. Not like I didn't know _that_ before. Come here."

He pulled him back up and pressed a kiss against his lips first and then one to his temple, before wrapping his arms back around him and burying his face in Merlin's hair.

They both managed to fall asleep eventually, peacefully drifting off into a comfortable slumber-

Until Merlin woke up in the middle of the night because he felt like he was about to fall. And he was. He was just balancing on the edge of the bed, while Arthur was sprawled out over the rest of it, taking up all the room he could possibly get.

"OH MY GOD!" Merlin yelled in exasperation and started shoving at Arthur. "Move, you prat! You're taking up the whole bed."

Arthur grumbled, but moved anyway and pulled Merlin against his chest.

"Sorry." He whispered against the back of Merlin's neck, making him shiver.

Merlin sighed comfortably and decided that he would forgive Arthur for almost pushing him out of bed – for now. Not that Arthur would ever hear the end of it. But for now, Arthur was breathing steadily behind him and Merlin started to relax again.

He was just about to fall back asleep and he knew Arthur was too, when he heard something that sounded suspiciously like—

"Did you just fart?" Merlin asked incredulously, trying his best not to start giggling like a kindergartener.

"Yes, _Mer_ lin." Arthur murmured against his neck and Merlin snorted quietly, simultaneously shivering and chuckling softly.

"It's okay, I guess. Release your demons."

Merlin could feel Arthur smiling against his skin and he smiled, too – just not for long.

He scrunched up his nose. "Augh. Your demons are bloody smelly, you know? You great stinky dollop-head."

Arthur chuckled softly behind him and Merlin rolled his eyes affectionately. The night was certainly not quite living up to any perfect expectations Merlin ever had – but then, somehow it was just perfect as it was, with all its flaws... and farts.

Merlin shut his eyes again, just as Arthur shifted and moved his hand, which ended up – of course it did – right on Merlin's half-hard cock. Merlin bit his lip and squeezed his eyes shut, his cock twitching excitedly under the accidental touch of Arthur's hand.

Arthur chuckled again. "I'd say I'm sorry, but…"

"Shh. Don't move." Merlin whispered as he felt his cock harden. He was tempted to tell Arthur to just get on with it already and finish what he started, but then he remembered who they were and it was _Arthur's_ hand on his cock and he decided that he would just have to suffer through his arousal, at least for the rest of the night. He was sure they wouldn't be able to avoid the getting off part for long anyway. Not that Merlin wanted to avoid it; but he wanted it to be perfect and he knew it wouldn't be as perfect as it could be when things were still a little bit awkward between them.

Then Arthur's stomach gurgled loudly and the moment was gone anyway, leaving Merlin unsure if he wanted to laugh or cry in frustration.

He decided to just _groan_ in frustration, because his bladder decided right in that moment that he really, really needed to pee. He was just glad that Arthur's bodily functions had lessened his arousal enough for him to actually be able to pee without making a mess.

"I need to pee." He announced and Arthur tightened his arms around him.

"No." He grumbled.

"Uhm, yes. I _really_ do."

"No."

" _Arthur_."

Arthur grumbled again, but reluctantly loosened his grip around Merlin.

"Fine. But hurry."

Merlin did hurry, suddenly feeling way too cold without Arthur's warmth around him.

He slipped back into bed in no time, curling up at Arthur's side and resting his head on his chest. He felt Arthur kissing his hair and smiled softly, ready to finally find some peaceful good night's sleep.

And he almost made it. But then Arthur fell asleep beneath him and jerked just like everybody sometimes did just before falling asleep and Merlin startled, suddenly wide awake again. Merlin just sighed, completely done with the night and cuddling and sharing a bed and rolled away from Arthur. He stayed close enough to feel his warmth, though, and sighed contently as he felt himself drifting off.

And if he punched Arthur in the face while turning and stretching, Merlin wouldn't even be surprised anymore.

When Merlin woke in the morning and opened his eyes slowly to the sun shining into the room, Arthur was already watching him, a soft smile gracing his lips.

"Morning." He said gently and reached out to cup Merlin's cheek and press a short, tender kiss to his lips.

Merlin smiled, ready to return the greeting – when he felt his stomach growl violently and instead of good morning, he just said: "I'm hungry."

Arthur didn't seem to be able to decide if he wanted to be amused or annoyed. His eyes were still gleaming fondly, though, and Merlin took that as a good sign.

"I'm not moving." He declared, scrunching his nose a little. "Also, you've got bad breath."

Merlin pouted a little and punched Arthur lightly on the chest.

"You're one to talk."

Arthur made a face. "Really?" He brought a hand to his mouth to smell his own breath and grimaced when he took it away again.

"Ugh. Sorry."

"It's fine. Everyone has morning breath. Which is why we should go and eat something. Now."

Arthur grinned and shrugged, poking Merlin's side with his index finger.

"All right, then. Let's end the most awkward night in the history of human kind."

"Yeah… we should definitely practice the cuddling part in the future. Several body parts will thank us for it."

Arthur snorted. "You mean my dick will thank us for it."

"That, too." Merlin said with a grin and Arthur smiled back, the affection evident in his eyes.

"You're an idiot."

"Mhmm. Maybe. But you still love me."

Arthur shifted closer, until their lips were only a finger's breadth apart. "You know what? I think I really, really do."

Months later, Merlin came to the conclusion that they'd probably never _perfect_ the cuddling part and that somehow, it was just perfect as it was anyway, bumbling as they were. And it was even more perfect when there were no clothes between them to separate them, just skin on skin after another one of the best shags of his life. Because with Arthur, Merlin had quickly realized, somehow _every_ shag was the best shag of his life.

Merlin was panting as he rolled off Arthur, his cock still twitching with aftershocks. There was a broad smile plastered on his face and he couldn't get rid of it if he tried, because he felt so good and he loved Arthur so much that it almost hurt.

"Do you remember when you used to think you were straight?" He asked with a grin, turning to his side so he could see Arthur's face.

Arthur rolled his eyes playfully and the next thing Merlin knew, the blond had pinned him to the mattress and was kissing him senselessly. He even thought he heard him muttering something like "I'll show you just how straight I am.", but Merlin couldn't be sure. Everything was a blur from the moment Arthur pressed his lips against his.

Merlin grinned into their kiss, relishing in the feeling of Arthur rubbing against him and his perfect lips kissing his swollen.

"Do you remember when we thought we were just friends?" Merlin asked when Arthur shifted his mouth from Merlin's lips to his throat.

"Merlin?" Arthur growled and started sucking at the skin just beneath Merlin's ear.

"Yes, Arthur?"

"Shut up."

Merlin chuckled and threaded his fingers through Arthur's hair.

"Never." Merlin told him and Arthur started sucking harder at Merlin's skin.

"Do you remember when you almost pushed me out of bed in the middle of the night?"

Of course Arthur remembered.

He would always remember their first night together.

Not because it had been an utter disaster, but because it had somehow been perfect nonetheless. It had been perfect simply because he'd got to share it with Merlin.

At the end of the day real life just wasn't like the movies, and it wasn't like fancy novels loved to describe it. Real life was messy and flawed; it was farts and gurgling stomachs, accidental gropings and kicks in the crotch. It was arms falling asleep and full bladders, it was bad breath and flailing limbs.

But all that didn't make it any less perfect.

Arthur loved Merlin. And that was all that mattered, no matter how ungraceful they were sometimes.

-Fin-


End file.
